Let the monsters see you smile
by Fuckingdefy
Summary: There was nothing here that showed her she was still alive, that was…until she met Mitchie. AU


I OWN NOTHING, JUST THE IDEA.

* * *

The thunder rolls, light little droplets of rain dropping against the windshield of the car creating a pitter-patter noise to block out everything else. The wind is gushing, pushing over tiny little trees like they don't even matter, plastic bags swirling in the sea of grey that the sky was becoming.

"Looks like a big one is on its way in." The man in the passenger seat mumbles, throwing off his wife's ramblings and cutting the noise of the sweet rain. He's looking out the window, just as she is, imagining tornados and lighting breaking open the earth, tearing the fields of grass apart. Maybe the road would crack open and swallow them whole.

The girl in the back seat, the one with her forehead pressed against the cool glass, shifts a little, moving to get more comfortable as she continues to stare out. She wishes she could go play in the rain, dance around like a wild child and enjoy the sweet smell that always comes around when it's raining. She loves that smell.

Deep brown eyes flicker from the girl in the back seat to the road every five minutes, the jabber that's happening in front seat silenced by the will power that she never knew she had. Her mother's lips are moving again, but all she hears is the constant pitter-patter. She doesn't want to hear what her mother's saying, she doesn't want to remember the words, and she doesn't want to break.

Beside her, a suit case is packed. Books, clothes, an iPod and her notebook. That's it, nothing else; no pictures, no stuffed animals, no movies. Nothing. Her heart is hammering, but she keeps it calm and collected, her face blank. She can see the man look back from the corner of her eyes, his expression sad and fearful. But she keeps staring out the window, watching the little droplets fall faster and get bigger.

* * *

When they finally arrive to a dinky town, the girl in the back seat sits up, staring at the people as their lives go on normally. She watches the little girls on the side walk play with chalk, watches a mother haggling with a street-side vender for some shoes, and then, there is an old man standing by the stop sign.

She observes him, taking in his deep set eyes and the sullen look on his face, like he knows what is to come. His thick, scraggly beard is white and grey, much like his disappearing hair and furry eyebrows. The wrinkles on his forehead turn down as he watches their car slow to a stop next to the sign.

He points to his cardboard sign before holding his hands together, like he was begging. It was then that the girl in the back seat looked at his clothes, the ratty old sweater hanging off his toothpick body along with the sweat pants that have holes in the knees and a rope to hold them up.

His eyes are pleading with her, begging as the tears formed in his old, wise eyes. And as they drive away, the girl looks at the sign leaning against the stop sign.

"_Please help; need money for son's surgery."_

The girl flinched, turning her head to look back at the man who hung his head in defeat. Alex places a hand against her heart as she feels it crack open a little, guilt and anger splintering it inside of her. The woman in front of her scoffed, glaring at the rearview mirror and shook her head.

"You know he only wants to buy booze, right?"

She turned around silently, staring out the window once again, wishing she could get out and run back to the man. She'd give him every cent she owned.

* * *

When the four wheels finally come to a stop and the engine stops rolling, the girl in the back seat stares up at the sky, not moving while the others get out. She stares and stares, her mind taking mental photos of the clear blue sky that had transformed from the grey sky earlier.

She wonders how long she actually stared before her mother's fingers tapped the glass and her name was called out repeatedly. Shaking her head, she looks to her impatient mother, anger and guilt all mixed together in her eyes. Sighing, the girl opens the door and drops onto the bright green grass, her sneaker clad feet sinking into the earth.

Brown eyes move around, glancing at the huge place set before her, the tall white walls making her feel small and un-important. With her hand still on the car's door, the young girl takes a step back, her head shaking 'no' as she tries to crawl back into the safety of the dark blue vehicle.

Yet just as she was about to close the door and lock everyone out, she heard the sharp voice of her mother.

"Alex Marie Russo." It was said in a calm, controlled manner, yet in the back of her throat there was viciousness and anger, the tones that the girl had come so accustom to knowing. It was something she heard often, the controlling side of her mother always awake, but her mother was still a loving and caring woman. She just wanted Alex to get better, and Alex knew that.

Slumping her shoulders down, the raven hair'd girl slipped out of the car once again, the black sneakers sinking into the grass as she stared up at the sky. She scratched at her arms softly, delaying the inevitable.

She didn't want this to happen, she didn't want to lose control of the situation, and she didn't want to accept this. But she had to. Her parents were making her, and since she was only seventeen, she had to do what they said. She vowed, however, once her eighteenth birthday comes around, she'd move far away.

* * *

With her suitcase sitting besides her, Alex sat on a wooden bench in a long, narrow hallway. The walls were plain and white, doors lining the walls, and ladies with white clothing walking in and out of them. None of them smiled.

Twiddling with her thumbs, the young girl looked over at the door her parents had escaped into, along with an older man. He had dark brown, graying, hair with so many wrinkles she could make a map out of them. His eyes were cold behind his circle glasses while his suit was posed and tight. In an instant, Alex hated this man. What with his shiny shoes and his fake smile, she wondered how long she'd be able to hold back yelling at him.

She already hated this place, already hated the white walls; the silence that rang in her ears like loud church bells. Her eyes blurred, causing the walls to turn red, hand prints coloring the walls, small and big.

_She stood, giggling and laughing as she placed her hand in a blue bucket, stamping her hand prints up and down the walls, drawing little pictures. People came out and joined her, dancing around as the paint lined the walls in a rainbow-y color._

_She smiled widely, enjoying the fun as all the white turned to color, as the painful silence was filled with giggles and smiles._

_But then she heard it, the loud scream that tugged at her stomach, yanking her out of the rainbow halls and back to the white death._

Alex sat up with a jolt, her eyes snapping open from her little cat nap as the screams continued. She looked around nervously, scared at to what was going on. She stood quickly, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she walked towards the source of the screams. All around her, white blurs ran around frantically, yet she ignored them as she continued to walk towards the first door.

Just as she could see inside, her name was called out in a sharp manner. "Miss Russo." A man's voice had said, causing her to jump slightly, turning back to the man in glasses and scampering to him like a puppy in trouble. She looked up nervously, her hands twisting together once again.

"What were you doing?" He asked, pushing up his glasses as he stared down with a harsh glance.

"I-I…" Alex bit her lip, looking down and away from his eyes, taking in a deep breath. "Nothing."

Putting a hand on her shoulder, the man ignored the way Alex flinched as he looked over his shoulder. Behind him, Alex's parents walked away quickly, not even bothering to say goodbye. When Alex saw this, she pulled away from the man and stepped around him, calling out.

"Mom? Where are you going? Mom! MOM!" She yelled frantically, her shoulders shaking un-easily. She didn't understand why they were leaving, they never said they were going to just drop her off and leave without a hug, not even an 'I love you.'

"Mom! Wait!" She pleaded as they got into the elevator, her mother in Brian's tight embrace as the doors began to close. Alex moved around the on-lookers, her feet slamming against the tiled floor with an echo that caused Theresa to flinch every time.

"No! Mom please! Wait! You can't do this!" She yelled, yet just before she was able to get to the elevator, a woman grabbed her shoulders tightly, holding onto her as she watched the doors finally close. "No! Let me go! I don't belong here!" She growled, trying to slip away from the woman's grasp.

"Calm down or we'll make you calm down."

* * *

_There are restraints, she realizes, as she frantically struggles to get up. Everything's so white…so…bright. It burns, it hurts, and she can't take it. She squirms, pushing at the soft leather that is attached to her, trying…trying. But she doesn't succeed, she's still there, tied down to a soft bed, a warm bed._

_Everything contradicts each other, cold walls, warm bed, restraints, fluffy sheets, fear and relief. _

_She feels like screaming; let them know she's in there, scared. Hurt. How could her parents just leave like that? No goodbye, no smile for hope, no kiss on the forehead, no 'It'll be alright's. Nothing. All she got was a sob that echoed through her body, jolting her nerves, causing hair to rise up slowly._

_Her lips are dry and cracked, pain erupting every time she opened her mouth. She was numb. "Help." She whispered, 'Please…for the love of god someone help.' She thought the rest, her eyes brimming with tears. 'Save me.' From who? Who was really doing this to her, who's fault was this?_

_It surely wasn't her's, or at least she thought it wasn't, no…it surely can't be her fault. But…that's what she told her mother, and look where it got her. Maybe it was her fault; maybe…she needed to be saved from herself. _

"_Help." Nothing._

_She called out a little louder, her arms shaking with the pent up frustration that coursed through her veins. _

"_HELP ME."_

_But no one comes._


End file.
